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Now, put good ol' American steer in a land filled with Ebola and lions, and the stakes get higher. They're usually scavengers, but do sometimes hunt slow-moving creatures, and much like horrible, alien, insectile guinea pigs, they're known to eat so much in one meal that they become bloated and unable to move. We present the Alpine ibexseen here casually scaling the Cingino Dam in Italy and openly defying all laws of physics. While Wendy's condition is sure to have many medical applications to various muscle development disorders, we're still hoping Disney casts her as the bad guy in Air Bud 4. You can live like a character from The Lord of the Rings while still preparing for the zombie apocalypse. And I mean it when I say I give a fuck about these kids. But unless Reuters got really, really bored one dayit's a genuine pic from Somalia.

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It's basically the Ace of Cakes of dog grooming, complete with what appears to be an airbrush paint job.

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It's a reptilian predator, it only has to breathe twice every 24 hours, and it's 6 feet across, sucking in any animal that comes too close. It isn't even a good Photoshop, either -- that mess was clearly cropped in from a close-up shot of Sam Adams from someone's Instagram account. How about a cow patty squished and formed into a turtle? There is no water in this photo. We're sure you're just aching with questions about what's going on here. If nothing else, it has to make it a hell of a lot easier to figure out if you're at the right stop.

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